School Jokes

Try out these silly jokes on your kids, then let them stump their friends.

Can you spell 'we' using two letters other than W and E? U and I

What do teacher cats put on tests when their students get 100 percent? Su-purrrrrr.

Why shouldn't you borrow a dime from a football coach? He always wants a quarter back.

What's a skeleton's favorite thing to get at school? A skull-ership.

What should you do if your new puppy chews on your dictionary? Take the words right out of his mouth.

What kind of candy do kids like to eat on the playground? Recess Pieces.

How did the dog pay for college? With a collarship!

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why was the math book so sad? It was full of problems!

What did one math book say to the other math book? "I've got more problems than you!"

What kind of clothes do vampires wear to school in the fall? Their bat-to-school clothes.

Teacher: Davis, use the word income in a sentence. Davis: I opened the door and income the dog. Teacher: No, no. Try the word ransom. Davis: I saw a skunk and ransom distance to get away. Teacher: Wrong! Give me a sentence with the word gruesome. Davis: I wasn't very tall last year but since then I gruesome. Teacher: Oh, you're hopeless! I'll give you one more chance. Please use the word handsome in a sentence. Davis: Could you handsome gum to me?

What is a snake's favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!!

What two letters are bad for your teeth? D K (Get it? Decay!)

Why was the lamp flunking his classes? He wasn't very bright.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Shelby. Shelby who? Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes.

Why would a heart be a good musical instrument? It has a great beat.

What kind of fish likes to harmonize? A tuna fish.

How is the letter 't' like an island? Both of them are in the middle of water!

Of all the states in America, which one is the happiest? Maryland.

Why is Alabama the smartest state of all? Because it has four A's and one B.

What did Delaware? I don't know -- Alaska.

What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is full of "t"? A teapot.

What kind of music do teapots like? Heavy kettle.

How is music like ice skating? If you don't "C-sharp," you'll "B-flat."

What sound does a Pokemon train make? Pika-choo-choo.

Where can you dance in California? San-Fran-Disco!

Why couldn't the bookworm sneeze? He had his nose in a book.

Why was the student afraid to go to school? She did't want to get stung by the spelling bee.

Why did the school add another floor of English classes? They wanted another story.

Why did the fish go to school? He heard they had bookworms.

Why did the king go to school? He heard they needed a ruler.

Why did the dogs go to school? They heard there was going to be a pup rally.

What did the student have just before he got his report card? Great Expectations.

When does a report card sting? When it's all "B's".

When is a report card like a sheep? When the grades are B-A-A-B-A-A.


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