New Year's Quotes

Celebrate New Year's Eve and then kick-start the new year with this assortment of funny quotes, inspirational toasts, and comments on resolutions. We bet you'll find one to help you ring in the new year.

Funny New Year's Quotes

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves". Bill Vaughan

"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means you've already met your New Year's resolution." Jay Leno

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." Bill Vaughan

"Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty." John Selden

"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool." F.M. Knowles

Inspirational New Year's Toasts

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." Oprah Winfrey

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." Hal Borland

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." Benjamin Franklin

"For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." T.S. Eliot

"In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want." Irish toast

Thoughts on New Year's Resolutions

"I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's." Henry Moore

"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions." Joey Adams

"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things." John Burroughs

"Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since." Dave Beard

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." Oscar Wilde

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