Relationships, Wrecked

Sarah was a high school freshman when she met Eric, a senior. When they started dating, Sarah's friends were amazed at Eric's loyalty. "He came to all my soccer games," she recalls, "and followed the bus home in his car." But trailing the bus was as much a way for Eric to keep tabs on Sarah as it was a gesture of devotion. "Then he started telling me what to wear, how to fix my hair, and that I was getting fat," she says. Next Eric started the verbal abuse, criticizing Sarah for no reason and calling her stupid.

Two years was enough -- Sarah wanted out, but she says "he wasn't taking no for an answer." He was still following her bus, and shadowing her at her part-time job. When he asked Sarah why she had taken down pictures of them as a couple displayed in her bedroom, Sarah knew Eric had been sneaking into her house. Sarah was frightened and didn't know how to stop him.

Sarah's problem isn't an isolated incident. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that 1 in 5 high school students experiences physical or sexual abuse by a dating partner. Stalking and verbal abuse have been linked to many problems, including early sexual activity, substance abuse, even suicide attempts.

The problem isn't confined to kids with poor self-esteem, notes Barrie Levy, author of What Parents Need to Know About Dating Violence. Many teens have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like, especially if parents are separated or don't get along.