Getting Up to Date

Generations of parents have told their children "Don't talk to strangers" and considered the job done. It's a dangerous and outdated assumption. "Parents need to do more. And they can," says Kenneth Wooden, founder and president of Child Lures Prevention, a sexual abuse and abduction prevention program based in Shelburne, Vermont. Keeping your eyes open, staying vigilant, and trusting your instincts about people are the first, best lines of defense against predators, who may be closer than most people think.

The stranger who grabs a child and takes off with her in his car may rivet parents to the national news, but it's not the norm. Most children are victimized by someone they know. And most of the time, those unfortunate children are targeted by sexual predators who are intent on physical and emotional abuse.

Who are the predators? Just take a look around. "They put themselves in places where they know they're going to have proximity to kids," says John J. Sullivan Jr., founder and former chief of the Child Pornography Enforcement Program, U.S. Customs Service, Washington, D.C. Besides the fact that the majority are males, child sexual predators don't fit a particular mold. Representing all races, backgrounds, and religions, they're impossible to classify, says Wooden. "They represent a cross section of the American population landscape: rich and poor, PhDs to illiterates, professionals to laborers, the unemployed to corporate executives," he says. Wooden should know. He interviewed more than 1,000 convicted predators in his efforts to educate parents and children about the tricks of their trade.

According to information gathered by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in Alexandria, Virginia, many molesters are married with children and working, so they manage to stay just below the radar, appearing acceptable to society at large. Often they're considered pillars of society. Typically they feel no remorse for their actions and are masters in the manipulation of children.

Predators attack in everyday settings. "It happens in dentist and doctor offices, at diving meets, and at daycare centers," states Leigh Baker, founder of the Trauma Treatment Center of Colorado and author of Protecting Your Child from Sexual Predators (St. Martin's Press, 2002). Most victims are convinced without force or a weapon to get in the predator's car or enter a home or other building.