How Did We Get Here?

When thinking of today's parents, an apt metaphor seems to be that of spinning plates. The idea seems to be the more plates (activities and commitments) you have in the air, the better you are as a parent. Karate, music lessons, dance, Scouts, church group, sleepovers, language lessons: everything gets equal treatment, lest your child miss out on something beneficial.

When your peers see what a wonderful job you're doing spinning your children's plates, they begin asking you to spin the plates of various volunteer efforts. To refuse these opportunities for social advancement means being moved to the "C-list," which is the most embarrassing thing imaginable, so you simply don't say no.

That's how Frantic Family Syndrome is created. In the frantic family, no one ever stops moving. Parents spin plates all day, racing children to one activity after another, then racing themselves to one commitment after another. In the process of all this freneticism, what little time the family has together is spent recovering from all the running.

The symptoms of Frantic Family Syndrome are easy to spot:

• The family loses its "center of gravity," its feeling of unity, which makes it susceptible to stress.
• Episodes of exasperation, anger, and sullenness are frequent.
• Communication problems mount, as do sibling rivalries.
• The afflicted find it increasingly difficult to pretend they're a functioning, happy family.