You and your ex-to-be should put aside your differences in order to have this important conversation with your children.
How easily a child adjusts to the news that his parents are getting a divorce depends largely on the conflict level between the parents during and following separation.
Reaching agreement on what to tell your children can be especially difficult when you haven't been able to agree on much lately. Nevertheless, this is a time for parents to set aside their animosities and work together.
Here are some guidelines to help you tell your children about your decision:
Q: Don't children often blame themselves for their parents' divorce?
A: This notion has become a cliche. If the parents argued a great deal about the children, the kids could feel guilt, but it's unlikely otherwise.
Q: How should we deal with our children's efforts to reunite us? There is no chance of a reunion.
A: Efforts by children to get their parents back together are typical. If you sense that one or more of the kids has taken on this responsibility, it's important to stop it right away. Deal with it straightforwardly. You might say, "We've noticed that you keep trying to get us back together. We think we understand that it's an expression of love for us, but it's important that you not try to do this."